soda bread and guilt

What do you get when you add an afternoon re-watch of The Great British Bake Off's Bread Week (aka. Louise's week) with a spare* 500ml tub of yoghurt** and multiply that with extreme baker's guilt***?

Soda.

Frickin'.

Bread.

Bread in an hour is a dangerous and wondrous thing.

All praise Irish traditions, my unbridled loaf lust and Paul Hollywood, the King of Yeast.

I accidentally created a bread labyrinth.

I can only hope a tiny Sourdough Minotaur rages grumpily at its core.

Kind of like Gachnar the Fear Demon:

There really isn't much i can't relate back to Buffy.

More bread here.

* by "spare" i mean it was in the fridge and i declared it mine. Everyone benefits, right?

** buttermilk is traditionally used but warmed up natural yoghurt does the job equally well. I've also heard mutterings of milk and lemon juice but i reckon your dough would get way too sloppy, way too quickly.

*** i'm a garbage human who takes extreme interest in things for a short period of time and then drops them mercilessly, thus why i haven't baked bread since July. Ugh.

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pepper potts

When your sister tells you to stop being a procrastinating asshat and just make some goddamn bread, you make some goddamn bread... a week later.

Thus, behold, yet more no-knead pot bread.

The only bread that apparently suits my sloth-like sensibilities.

But this time sans the slathering of toasted sesame oil over the surface and plus a tablespoon and a half of ground peppercorns.

Yes, i made Pepper Pot(ts) Bread.

And it tastes ridiculous.

Marvel, give me the monies.

More bread, here.

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caraway (cheat's) sourdough

Crushed it.

Or more accurately, toasted it.

Cheat's Sourdough harbouring two tablespoons of lightly toasted caraway seeds - not burnt like my first attempt, thank you Ems for rescuing your cooking handicapped little sister - and baked for an additional five minutes.

As good as Valvona and Crolla's they say.

As i said, crushed it.

More bread, here.

cheat's sourdough // charles

Cheat's Sourdough

and

Charles:

Charles needs no explanation but laziness, intrigue and a failed yeast baby birthed this golden sucker into existence and y'know what?

It's not half bad.

Not as tangy as your standard sourdough but i think that could be remedied with a few additional days of fermentation for the yoghurt and perhaps adding some lemon?

Who knows, that particular google search has yet to be performed but i do know one thing for sure:

This recipe needs caraway seeds.

Lots of them.

Immediately.

I see another loaf coming on.

Which is fine because damn, this was easy and satisfying.

Doughs that require a 12 to 18 hour power nap are my favourite doughs.

All hail sloth-like behaviour.

More bread, here.

sesame chia bread // boat bread

I accidentally made almost perfect sandwich bread.

You know the type, soft but firm on the outside with a matte yet glossy finish and an interior that tears like thick cotton candy?

The stuff breaded dreams are bloody made of?!

Well, that loaf right up there? That's the dream and somehow my reasonably useless paws produced it.

Weird.

Recipe: Not Quite Nigella

Also, Boat Bread:

Which is essentially a seedy version of the no-knead loaf i make incessantly but baked in the Lékué Silicone Bread Maker that the rentals bought me for Christmas.

...

Boat bread.

More bread, here.

bread and booze

...

Apparently breaded boozehounds frequent this here blog of inconsequence.

Welcome, fellow bread lovers, welcome.